‘Self Inflicted’ – Countdown to 50
Tomorrow marks the countdown to my 50th year!
50 days from now, I will be of a different generation. Hopefully wiser and on a path that will keep me healthy and happy.
From day 50 . . . (fitting, that it is Halloween) I will post a daily Polaroid picture of myself counting down to the day of a decade change.
Let’s just make this clear now – I have never claimed to be a great writer or use all the big words to tell my story.
So, when reading what follows, don’t expect the words of some wise philosopher (unless I quote one)!
I have never been a rich man, but I figure my richness comes from those around me, my family, my small circle of close friends and the lessons I have learned along the way to reach this point. Experiences that were never documented, but clear in my head of what they were. Yes, I have a few regrets . . . but in hindsight, I may not be the man I am today if I did not have those regrets, made those mistakes or experienced loss.
Change . . . that always came when I most needed it and have always embraced the changes that my life has taken. Whether the change was good or bad I always tried to make it a positive experience, or at least learn a lesson from them. Those changes have taken me to this exact moment, leading me to an age of a different generation; quite frankly I never imagined being. . . It just kind of sneaks up on you. Many people, including myself say 50 is the new 30, but in reality . . . it is still 50, no matter how you look at it! I’ve definitely learned a lot about myself through the years, built a strong set of morals, found my passion, have learned to appreciate the very small things that are laid in front of me everyday. Yes, I may have become more cynical about certain things, but I find it easier to see truth and even easier to see deceit. I have let old friends go through the years, not with anger or with hatred or even regret that they were in my life. I have always been a strong believer in “people come into your life for a reason & things happen for a reason” . . . we as humans, learn from each other, grow together or apart – guiding us onto our proper paths, sometimes leaving others to go their own direction. I am lucky enough to have others in my life that may not walk the same path as me, but we share in the divine energies that attract us.
One of my favourite quotes of all time by: Isaac Newton
“I do not know what I may appear to the world; but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.”
I am still that boy playing on the seashore (and thank goodness I live right close to the seashore) . . . still discovering what is undiscovered before me. I hope to learn so much more on my journey through life and teach others (whether I know it or not) as I continue to learn and grow. Approaching 50 it is easier for me to give up trying to define who I am, where to categorize myself or worrying what others will think and ‘just be’. Something so simple – just being myself.
Eckhart Tolle is always a good read to get your mind set into a positive state. And this quote kind of sums up what I just said. “Give up defining yourself – to yourself or to others. You won’t die. You will come to life. And don’t be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it’s their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don’t be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of conscious Presence. You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.”
So, to sum it up and why I decided to do this little “50 Shades of Grey” project . . .
Perhaps posting pictures of my self seems like nothing new to some of you, by looking at all my Face Book profile pictures. But what it represents for me is my growth as a person, a human, a boy, a man, my spirit, my soul, my energy, my passions, my emotions. All of these things make up me, Robert Charles. The man I am at this moment, the man I look at in the mirror every day, the man I talk to (yes, sometimes aloud) when I need inner guidance, the better man that I am and still striving to be. Seeking eternal truth and peace.
Let the countdown begin . . .