Aristotle declared that “Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.” It is the most unselfish of all loves, for it seeks only the happiness and good of the other.
I have had some difficulty defining my friendships this past year. Since the great loss in my life last year, it has made me realize what I truly value in a friendship. I thought I had solid friendships until i really needed them to step up. Some have failed me more than others. At first I thought — “Well, it must be me.” Yes, I had changed, I had grown.
I have one soul connection . . . one super solid in my life, we will be friends until the moment one of us takes our last breath.
Readers Respond to Ghosting
By THE NEW YORK TIMES
“I am guilty of ghosting friends. I didn’t know it had a name. But it is better, in my view, to just walk away silently than to have “those conversations” where you have to explain why you no longer wish to pursue the friendship. The outcome is not likely to change, and meanwhile, you have two uncomfortable people and may have caused pain.
The last time I did this, I used the old “it’s me, not you” approach, but the friend didn’t get the hint and continued to contact me. Too bad she didn’t do that for the 10 weeks when I really needed a friend and would have appreciated just an occasional text or two. When she finally did surface from her busy social life (she doesn’t work), it was with an email full of details about her busy life but not once did she say “Hey, how are you” or “Hope you are well.” By that point, she was already on the “not worth bothering” list.”
Interesting article: NEW YORK TIMES – Ghosting
The last paragraph screams at me and my situation. I myself need closure – and there is this response that reflects what I did to someone who ‘ghosted’ me last year.
“I’m glad there’s a term for this; it’s more accurate than “dumped.” It happened to me a while back, in a relationship of 18 months that had grown quite serious. After three weeks of silence, I decided someone ought to issue an acknowledgement, and wrote him a note (by hand, sent via the post office) saying I was hurt and confused by his behavior, but had enjoyed good times with him and wished him well. It felt right to offer a sincere closing on my end, even if his actions were rude and immature. Maintaining my own integrity weakened the sting. In a sense, I, not he, was the one closing the door.”
AMC, DENTON, TEX.
(Except in my case it was a female friend of 8 years).
I am not sure if ‘ghosting’ is my style, cause it does seem cowardly and I am a man of words. Also, I know how it felt to be ‘ghosted’ . . . but sometimes it might be a quick way to get the job done. Even though I have people in my life who say they care about me — not seeing or hearing from them (especially when I STOP making the first move) doesn’t ring fair to me and perhaps it is time to do a little ‘ghosting’ of my own.
If you are reading this — Any thoughts?